


Cut Me a Silk Tied Tourniquet

by dear_chaton



Series: ML Fluff Month [10]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged Up, Alternate Universe - No Miraculous, But wow, F/M, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, Miraculous Fluff Month, Recap, adrien is a famous singer/songwriter, alya and nino are engaged, and chloe is honestly just there, another chat fic, day 12 prompt, he and mari are dating, sequel to summer love, what a surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-20 22:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15543384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dear_chaton/pseuds/dear_chaton
Summary: Or the one where Marinette accidentally roasts her boyf on the group chat, plus other shenanigans





	Cut Me a Silk Tied Tourniquet

**Author's Note:**

> to make it easier on y'all:  
>  _Marinette is ladyblub_  
>  **Adrien is death™**  
>  _Alya is square tf up_  
>  **Nino is roll me a blunt**  
>  Chloe is try me bitch
> 
> here's that sequel to oddest of summers, apologies for how random this is and kind of off prompt but afdikj the typos, and i know there's a lot in this one, are meant to be there bc its chat fic lol
> 
> Title also comes from roaring 20s lol

_< Ladyblub>_  
_Can I kick adrien?  
_ _Is that a thing?_

  _< Square tf up>  
__No_

 **< death™>  
** **Noooooooo**

 _< Square tf up>_  
_You can fight him_  
  
_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Fite me adrien_

 **< death™>  
** **Okay  
** **Thats fair**

_< Square tf up>  
_ _At elast take her to dinner afterwards_

< _Ladyblub >  
__My place or yours_

 **< death™>  
** **Mine**

 _< Ladyblub>  
_ _bET_

 **< Roll me a blunt>  
** **Plot twist adrien is chat noir and  
marinette is ladybug**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Oof_

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Mmmmmmmmmm_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Plot twist chat noir dies**

**< death™>  
** **Gladly**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Wait no_

_< ladyblub>  
_ _No_

 **< death™>  
** **Fine  
** **When we fighting  
** **I got a schedule to keeo**

 **< roll me a blunt>  
** **Thats a lie  
** he's been playing video games  
since he got back to the country

_< square tf up>  
_ _Best bro exposing you damn_

**< death™>  
** **Yeah wtf**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **What can i say expect youre welcome**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Dont start i swear to god_

 _< square tf up>_  
_Fine new discourse_  
_Who in this chat is secretly_  
_Linky_  
_Lnick_  
_KINKY  
_ _FCUK_

 _< Ladyblub>  
_ _Me_

 **< death™>  
** **Called it**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Damn**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _I’m more memey than kinky though_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Mmm kinky  
** **Okay but what level of kinky are we talking here**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Here come dat boi_

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Oh shit what up_

 **< death™>  
** **Ive red and watched some kinky shit mand idk**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Are you indeed implying what i think you are_

**< death™>  
** **Bold of you to assume otherwise  
** **I mean i was kind of into it  
** **But also i was like what the fuck**

 _< Ladyblub>_  
_I’m a good christian child™  
_ _Im the one you least expect to be kinky_

_< square tf up>_  
_Really?  
_ _Actually_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **The communist agenda is very much christain**

_< square tf up>_  
_Omg_  
_We’re talking about kinks_  
_But  
_ _Have you ever failed a sexuality test_

 **< death™>  
** **Mari is secretly kinky shhhhhh**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Well its not a secret now**

_< square tf up>_  
_A new tv series_  
_Brought to you by netflix  
_ _Sponsored by Adrien_

 _< Ladyblub>  
_ _Shut up_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Y’all need jesus**

_< Ladyblub>  
__Don’t we all_  

* * *

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **y'all remember the dancing hotdog meme**

**< death™>  
** **We;re not doing this here  
** **No**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Too late  
** **> image sent<**

_< square tf up>_  
_Omg  
_ _whAT EVEN_

 **< death™>  
** **Bls  
** **I beg**

 _< Ladyblub>  
_ _Then beg_

_< Square tf up>_  
_You know you want a hot dog fic_  
_HOLY FCUK I READ A BIT AND  
_ _> image sent<_

 **< death™>  
** **NOOOOOOO**

 _< Ladyblub>_  
_he wants the d_  
_God dammit he really wants itdakfj  
_ _adrien has been e x p o s e d_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Wait we’re talking about death here right?**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Adkufhjjk thats fair_

**< death™>  
** **Kinky ass hotdog**

< _Ladyblub >  
__Youre a kinky ass hotdog_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Choke me hotdog daddy**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Iadoshkfj why did you make me read that with my own two eyes_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Hello sir, would you be so kind as ot guzzle various nuts**

_< Ladyblub>_  
_bET  
_ _Already did_

_< square tf up>  
_ _Ono_

**< death™>  
** **Nothing FOR YOU TO SEE**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Its more like blam blam blam**

**< death™>  
** **More like splat**

 _< Ladyblub>_  
_No its like pew pew pew  
_ _Bc its so tiny_

 **< death™>  
** **RUDE  
** **WHAT THE FCUK**

_< square tf up>_  
_That sick nasty burn  
_ _Oh my_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Oh god**

**< death™>  
** **Im like a solid 1 cm  
** **Bc im white af**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **You should probably get that checked out by a doctor  
** **Bc like damn how even**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Does it have a choking hazard bc its so small?_

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Yes yes it does_

 **< death™>  
** **WHY**

_< square tf up>  
_ _How do you know_

_< Ladyblub>_  
_I dont  
_ _Bc its nonexistant_

**< death™>  
** **mARI  
** **IM HURT**

_< square tf up>_  
_Fresh roasts keem em cumming guys_  
_Puns  
_ _Har har har_

**< death™>  
** **My dick is bigger than my nonexistent dreams**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **0 x 0 is still 0  
** **Divide by zero pls and thank you**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Its an error_

**< death™>  
** **My dick is a error message there**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Blue screen_

**< death™>  
** **Yep**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Scanning, object could not be found_

**< death™>  
** **marINETTE**

_< square tf up>  
_ _AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

**< death™>  
** **My dick is now a dancing hotdog**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _The only form of a dick you’ll ever have_

_< square tf up>  
_ _MarINETTE_

_< Ladyblub>_  
_¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
_ _You keep setting yourself up for this_

**<** **death™** **>  
****Im getting double roasted it hurts**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Like stop setting the fire if you cant take it**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _I mean youve done this only to yourself_

**<** **death™** **>  
****The hotdog wouldnt care about size**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Bc there was nothing to begin with_

_< square tf up>  
_ _UDIFHADKUSJH_

**<** **death™** **>  
****I’m honestly feeding the fire on purpose at this point**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Im trying to make a meme to roast you but im not good at making memes**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Dont worry i got you covered_

_< square tf up>_  
_Stroke the fire  
_ _At this point y’all are kicking a dead horse while he’s down_

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _At this point i think im out of ammo but then again Adrien never had any to begin with_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **> image sent<  
** **(small, do you mean adrien’s gentials?)**

_< square tf up>_  
_You def need ice for that burn  
_ _And all others before it_

**<** **death™** **>  
****Thats fair**

_ <square tf up> _  
_ >image sent< _ _  
_ _(nonexistent objects, do you mean adrien’s gentials?)_

_ <square tf up> _ _  
_ _Heu hue_

_ <Ladyblub> _ _  
_ _B l e s s t h a t_

 **<** **death™** **>** **  
** **#stoproastingadriensdick2018**

_ <square tf up> _ _  
_ _Did we break his spirit yet?_

**<** **death™** **>** **  
** **My spirit is gone**

 _ <Ladyblub> _ _  
_ _We succeeded_

 **<** **death™** **>** **  
** **Dead inside**

**< roll me a blunt>** ****  
**> image sent<** ****  
**(kindergarten comebacks, do you mean Adrien’s insults?)** ****  
  
_ <Ladyblub> _ _  
_ _I came out here to have a good time and I was not disappointed_

_< square tf up>  
_ _Pfffffffff_

**< death™>  
** **WHY DOUBLE ON ME**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Alya have i ever mentioned how much ily?_

_< square tf up>  
_ _Mayhaps_

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Alya you’re my hero_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **> image sent<  
** **(Adrien’s gentials, do you mean imaginary numbers?)**

**< death™>  
** **WHY THO**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Alya marry me_

_< square tf up>  
_ _But im already engaged_

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Its better than marrying little dick adrien over here_

**< death™>  
** **!!!!!**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Uaidhfjsifkg**

< _square tf up >_  
_bET  
__IM CACKLING_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **IM WHEEZING**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **MARI ILY**

_< square tf up>_  
_IM LAUGHING AND CEYING  
_ _MY STOMACH HURTS_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **My throat hurts**

**< death™>  
** **Im hurt but damn**

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _I have a headache lol_

**< death™>  
** **> image sent<  
** **(Adrien abuser, do you mean Marinette?)**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **He found my secret meme generator damn**

**< death™>  
** **Yes**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **No originality cmon**

< _Ladyblub >_  
_I mean you’re not wrong  
__In more ways than one_

_< square tf up>  
kinky_

**< death™>  
** **I sent Mari a cute one earlier  
** **And this is the thanks i get**

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **> image sent<  
** **(catchy song names, do you mean little dick adrien?)**

**< death™>  
** **I send my gf a meme and i get roasted**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Was it your dick or_

**< death™>  
** **Im leaving**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Ohihfd no wait i apologize_

< _Ladyblub >_  
_We;re on a skype call and_  
_Ive been apologizing every couple seconds  
__which reminds me time to scream in the astral plane again_

_< square tf up>  
_ _Self care is astrally projecting yourself and fighting your worst enemy_

* * *

 

<try me bitch>  
Oooo

_< square tf up>  
_ _Don’t read the previous messages_

<try me bitch>  
Should I  
Be worried?

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _If you do its all in good fun_

<try me bitch>  
Owo shoot

_< square tf up>_  
_We neved answered the question_  
_Aside from mari volunteering  
_ _Who’s the kinkest here_

<try me bitch>  
I would say im the least kinkiest hoe here

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **Nifty**

**< death™>  
** **Im kinky but lets not talk about that here**

<try me bitch>  
Sex is gross  
In my opinion  
But i will certainly joke about it

_< square tf up>  
_ _Im kind of with chloe_

**< death™>  
** **I feel like youre not**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Is there a kink for squaring up?_

**< death™>  
** **Yes**

_< square tf up>  
_ _Is it called choking_

_< Ladyblub>  
_ _Its called choking_

**< roll me a blunt>  
** **I mean you you do you**

**Author's Note:**

> Everything said was in good fun but aidfju whoops this actually happened once in a discord server
> 
> I might expand on this, more of a story format since I have ideas for scenes so look forward for that^^


End file.
